


UPDATE/WHERE I'VE BEEN

by fuzzybatbutts



Series: Lessons To Be Learned [18]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games), Titanfall (Video Games)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25723162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzybatbutts/pseuds/fuzzybatbutts
Summary: I want to tell y'all where I've been and what's going on so you're not just waiting in the dark for me to post more Apex stuff
Relationships: Bloodhound/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Series: Lessons To Be Learned [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1330520
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23





	UPDATE/WHERE I'VE BEEN

Hey guys

So I’m writing this for my own sake cuz it’s something I worry about a lot. I’m sorry if you got excited in thinking this was a story chapter, but I needa get it off my chest.

So for about the last week and a bit I’ve actually been in inpatient care at a hospital because it’s uh

Not good.

I’ve been struggling a lot with my mental health, which you know if you’ve been reading my authors notes. I try to keep it lighter there, but in all honestly it’s been really terrible. I’ve had to get stitches twice and there’s been some huge changes in my life that haven’t been going super smoothly. Inpatient is definitely where I need to be, and I mostly just need a break from my responsibilities because HOLY FUCK I’m tired. Like, the bad kind of tired where no amount of sleep can fix it, kind of tired. 

You guys have been a massive source of motivation for me so I felt really bad about just kinda going dark on you. I’ve been writing the Harry Potter series because it’s a commission, so it’s a job. I enjoy doing it, but there’s also more of a fire under my ass to get it done. 

Basically, I’m putting Lessons on indefinite hiatus. When I put out the next chapter, there’s no guarantee it’ll be consistent updates after that. I’ve got the next chapter started, but it just takes a lot out of me to write Lessons, and while I’m really proud of the series and how it’s grown, I just can’t handle the stress or the expectations without breaking right now. It creates a lot of anxiety because I’m scared people will abandon it if I go in a certain direction, and the move I’m planning on taking with the story is pretty big and I want to do it justice. But that adds a lot of stress because I want you guys to like it as well, so it feels like I have to pick between the story I want to write and something that you guys will enjoy.

Even doing dark oneshots kinda sucks right now because there's just stress attached to the pairing. I fear checking the comments and just seeing “Where’s Lessons?” because it makes me feel like all my other work is inferior. I also don’t have the energy to deal with any anti’s that come knocking, because honestly that kind of negativity is one of the things that’s literally been slowly killing me. I can’t even handle someone complaining about their day because I’m in such a fragile state, let alone having insults hurled at me or people wishing me dead because I wrote a fucking story. 

Basically I gotta ration my energy and I have none to spare for whiney piss babies who are gonna screech at me no matter what I do. 

I’m so incredibly sorry for everyone who was invested in this series and then got left hanging. I don’t want to abandon it, but I just can’t right now. I still plan on continuing it in the future when I’m better, but I’m at the stage where convincing myself to keep breathing is kind of my main priority. I love all of you, but it’s a level of commitment I don’t have in me, and I’m trying to be okay with that. 

I do want to thank everyone who commented on the last chapter. I go back and read them all the time and I love every single one. Idk, you guys mean the world to me, but right now I gotta have tunnel vision yknow.

Cheers,

-P


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